The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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