My room smells like vodka and shame
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
