the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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