UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize