Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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