So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
