Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
