Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
No subtext here. People are naked.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize