Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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