i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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