Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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