Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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