lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
