Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
