dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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