Only a mothe r could love this liver
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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