I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
