I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
