Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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