I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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