We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
