Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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