his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
