we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
