found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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