Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
