She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
