I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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