Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat

(1-503): View more from Oregon

Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.

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(301): View more from Maryland

The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.

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(434): View more from Virginia

my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.

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(614): View more from Ohio

making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy

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(928): View more from Arizona

He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.

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(706): View more from Georgia

we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out

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(214): View more from Texas

He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina

(817): View more from Texas

Marry him NOW

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