Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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