It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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