I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
