Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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