I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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