Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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