Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
