maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize