According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
