i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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