nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
