i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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