i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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