I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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