my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
