My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
