The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
