if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
