Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
