There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
