I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
