Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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