I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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