hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
