what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
