I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
