Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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