I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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